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Travel Tips Part 1: Oslo, Norway

Welcome to the beginning of your journey throughout an icy Europe. Be sure to book your tickets from London (or any other such place) through the budget air-line Ryannair – note the word ‘budget’ here:  although you have paid peanuts for this ticket there are always hidden fees lurking in the undergrowth of the terms and conditions you were too lazy to read, for example, having a laptop in your hand-luggage counts as a second piece of hand luggage and you will be charged around 40 pounds for this second item. Luckily, someone had already told you this before you left so you needn’t learn the hard way.

Prepare yourself for your trip: where are you going? What language do they speak there? What will the weather be like? If, by all accounts, you’ve managed to book a flight during winter then make sure you pack the following: layers of ugly but warm clothes that make you look super-butch and grossly overweight. Using your logic, completely forget about the fact that an airplane will not be the 8 degrees you will except in your destination, and opt for dressing yourself in two layers of thermals, a pair of jeans, followed by a jumper and a jacket. And a scarf and a beanie. And Doc Martins. And two layers of thermal socks. And leg warmers.

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