Today I didn’t even think about cigarettes.
What a load of shit. Today was one of those days where normally I would break, say, “fuck this shit” and buy a pack of smokes. My body was absolutely crying out for nicotine and my abject refusal to satisfy the craving made me more than difficult to be around. I woke up in a black cloud; I resolved to eat a grimy breakfast, watch cartoons, and pick a fight with my parents before going to Uni. Even around my darling friends my mood wasn’t lifted – I was irritable, snappy and basically a gigantic pain in the arse to be around. My nails have been bitten down to stubs and the skin around my thumbs is starting to bleed from picking at it all day.
I know, I know, this is the “hump day” every smoker quitting cold turkey has to go through. I have to remind myself that each day will get easier, but that doesn’t mean I want a cigarette any less. Maybe some statistics will cheer me up?
Tobacco smoking is the largest single preventable cause of death and disease in Australia, killing 40 people per day in 2004 alone. (Cancer Council 2006).
People who start smoking when they are young are more likely to smoke heavily, to become more dependent on nicotine and to be at increased risk of smoking-related illness or death (McDermott, Russell and Dobson 2002) .
But wait! There is hope for me yet…
A study which followed a cohort of male British doctors over 50 years has shown that cessation of smoking at any age will increase life expectancy. (Doll, Peto, Boreham and Sutherland 2004).
So I suppose I’m doing the right thing. In the mean time I need to stop convincing myself that the habit won’t be that bad if I sneak the odd one in every-now-and-then, like for example with a glass of red while listening to L.A. Woman on repeat. I can honestly say I’ve never done that, but it sounds fantastic.
2 days down.